Dear Lovely Lady, Self-love to me is waking up early in the morning bright and doe-eyed after a full nights rest with full anticipation of what the day has in store for me. Rolling out of bed and making sure all of the pillows and blankets get to where they belong. Preparing a peach-flavored oatmeal and adding extra walnuts, while steaming milk for a Citron Green tea-flavored latte to be sipped for the entirety of my morning ritual. Sitting at a table facing the windows with the curtains pulled back to watch as the sun rises and graces me with it’s rays of pink and orange rays of light, while I sit and write in my hot pink notebook that cheerfully suggests I “Throw Kindness Around Like Confetti” in gold foil. Meanwhile, I’m still wrapped in my soft throw blanket, recalling the events of the day before and writing what’s on my mind and in my heart. Then, getting up and cleaning up after myself, ensuring everything is placed back to its rightful home, and ...

Dear Lovely Lady, I hope you had a wonderful day today full of good fortune and new opportunities. I had quite the wonderful day myself. On a sliding scale, I would have to say it was even above average. The only thing currently affecting my mood is my slowly dwindling battery life and my lack of motivation to find an outlet. Today got me thinking that a lot of the issues we face are all made in our heads. I remember once confiding in a friend of mine that I no longer understood who I was. I had become someone I could only barely recognize as a manufactured persona fit to serve the status quo with prerecorded answers to questions like what's your favorite food and where do you want to travel to. I wanted to be the daughter my parents could be proud of, the student her peers could look up to, a reliable friend to those around me. I'd started making decisions and life choices that would make everyone else happy without asking myself what would make me happy. I started to ...

Dear Lovely Ladies, As I was going through my notes in my notes app, I found something that caught my fancy. For my sake and for anyone that's feeling alone, I thought I would share an unfinished excerpt. "You will graduate from college in 3 years, get your dream job and leave it. Your grades won't matter and you'll feel aimless. You'll realize that money nor material items or status matter. You'll no longer tolerate doing things for the sake of appearances. You'll realize that those "friends" of yours are completely circumstantial and that the decisions you make impact your future more than you care to believe. Ultimately, you'll come face to face with all of the questions you've been pushing to the back of your mind because you're no longer juggling two jobs and attending school full time so nothing can block your questions from rising to the surface. Most importantly, you'll learn that the only vessel you have in this ...

Dear Lovely Ladies, Sometimes I ask myself where all the time has gone. I stand there mortified at the number of hours I've spent investing my precious resources into people that are no longer at my side. I feel foolish knowing that I cared so much only to let them use me and forget me. There may be a few ounces of pride in my body that don't allow me to reach out to those I used to consider my dearest friends. However, knowing that fact doesn't change my decision to stay away. I've managed to keep two close friends after college and even they appear to be getting farther and farther away from me, like bottles out at sea. Both of them are off on travels at the moment and I'm left here wondering where I went wrong.  A real friend never forgets your existence. They don't go days without checking in on you to see if you're okay. I say this because I think it's mature to reflect, to see what kind of friend we've become. After a while tho...

Dear Lovely Lady, It's that time of the day again. Time for the evening check lists to come out and for work to go to bed. For a long time I always considered my evenings to be a time of escaping reality. No responsibilities and no pressure for deadlines. Procrastination was number one on the agenda, but recently I've had quite the change of heart. Every minute of our day we make a choice, down to the second. I think I've heard it called the butterfly effect, but it's more than just a work of fiction. Every choice we make is another building block to our not so distant future. From the people we associate with, to the route we take to work. We choose what we want for our future, as improbable as that might sound. So acknowledge your power. Let it be your decision. Indeed, always remember, your choices are the spice you add to life. Sincerely yours, The Refined Lady

Dear Lovely Lady, I'm in the middle of my hour-time block marked "Lunch" as I write you this letter. I hope you're day is going as fabulously as you deserve. I recently had an epiphany that hit me while checking off the to-do list for the day. Sometimes we become engulfed by our work and we nix a meet up here and there with friends. Traveling to and fro for work allows you to see new places and try new restaurants, but often you do it solo style or with clients. This varies ofcourse from position to position, but sometimes we do it for other reasons than just our growing work load. It could be to prove to the world and maybe even secretly to ourselves that we're more than just a number, but a valuable employee and a capable woman. However, all we end up with is a burn out wondering why all of our friends have become so distant. We might question why in the world we're sitting in front of a tv screen instead of being out at a chic down town event with our...